My office overlooks Churchill Square, where the Queen is appearing today. As a special service to you, the staticred.net readership, I'm liveblogging her visit.

10:00 - the Queen arrives at City Queen Elizabeth II Hall to start her tour.
10:10 - the Queen starts the long march towards Churchill Queen Elizabeth II Square, for some sort of celebration or something. You have to wonder why the Queen always walks so much. Can't they get her closer to the venue? She is the queen after all. There's tall folks on stilts with blue and white flappy arms to greet her. I wonder if they thought of renaming all the streets downtown to Queen Elizabeth Way too. I think this might be confusing.
10:20 - the Queen has stopped walking. Either she's tired, is talking with someone important, or came across someone with a corgie. There is a debate in the office as to whether she is wearing white or yellow, as we cannot tell from the massive big screen displays in the square.
10:25 - the Queen is now in view from our office. She's wearing white. White cheerleaders are dancing beside her. Very exciting. She's very small from up here.
10:28 - on the move again. She's now - surprise surprise - taking flowers from children. I think a lot of effort must go into treating the Queen to ensure she never develops an allargy to pollen. Also, where do all these flowers end up? You always see her taking them from the children, but then they're just gone. I wonder, does the Queen somehow ingest the flowers for sustenance? Is there a special car reserved just for all the flowers she gets? These are questions that demand answers.
10:32 - Office banter: "Forget the Queen, I want to see the cheerleaders"
10:35 - the Queen is taking ths stage. I don't have any audio from up here, so I'll have to imagine what it is she's saying:

Dear Canada,
You and I have known each other for quite some time, so I think we can talk candidly here. You're a big country now, and you need to start acting like one..."

10:42 - the queen is on the move again... she was up one side of the stage and down the other in less than 5 minutes. I revise my previous quote to be the following:

Dear Canada,
Get bent.
Love,
the Queen

10:44 - the Queen has stopped to watch some children play with ropes. One can only imagine how bored the Queen must be to watch [randomly sized group of cute children] doing [randomly cute activity] in [random colony].
10:47 - a whirlwind tour through Churchill Square! The Queen is getting into her car on the other side of the square, and heading off to the next part of the colonies (Calgary).

Thus concludes our liveblogging of the Queen's visit to Edmonton. We now return you to our regularly scheduled witticisms.