The call I've been waiting the last week for finally came last night. My Aunt Mi (Hermione McKay) passed away after days spent suffering and on morphine. She passed away at 11pm Sunday night, and Mom waited until last night to call me.

Aunt Mi was really special to me. As a couple of you know, I grew up with no gramma in my life. My mom's mom passed away shortly before I was born, and my Dad's family all live in Manitoba, which means that I only ever met my gramma and his mom (long story) a couple of times before Gramma passed away. His mom is still alive, but we really don't have any family connection there, for various reasons.

As a result, Aunt Mi took on the role of gramma for me - in fact, I half-started this entry with "My gramma passsed away." She always made me feel as if I was her favourite nephew, and that I was more special to her than the rest of my cousins. Perhaps it's because I spent so much time with her growing up. Every summer for about 10 years, I would go visit her (on my own) for two weeks on Vancouver Island. For the first few years, she lived in Chemainus, in an old converted barn that had this beautiful large deck. She always made sure to pick up some books from the library for me, which I would motor through, and then we'd go back to the library and get some new books from Penny the librarian. She also made me "Cowboy Dinner", which was my favourite meal for years (it had to be every night, and had to bore the heck out of her to eat it every night I was there). I remember going to Thetis Island with her... passing out plums to our fellow travellers on the ferry... taking the train to Colwood to visit my Aunt June... learning how to play cribbage... just having a great time every summer with her. And I felt that she had just as much fun those two weeks every year.

The other thing I loved about Aunt Mi was that she didn't take shit from anyone. Aunt Mi was a no-nonsense kind of gal. Part of this is that she was so independent; she lost her husband early in life, and never remarried or had kids. She worked, and just generally lived life on her own terms. She wasn't afraid to show her emotions, be they happiness to see whomever was there to see her, or frustration at the way they were acting, if they were acting out of place. In short, she spoke her mind and didn't care if you wanted to hear it or not.

Her independence made it all the more difficult a few months ago when she moved into an assisted care center in Victoria. When I talked to her on the phone a while ago, she told me that it was okay, but she didn't really like it there - everything was scheduled, and there wasn't much in the way of interesting things to do. Since moving in she'd fallen a couple of times. The last time was more serious, however. About a two weeks ago, she fell in the bathroom while getting ready for dinner (they think she was looking for her glasses) and fractured her pelvis and a rib. Soon after she stopped eating, and a few days ago she stopped drinking. When I got a call from Dad last Tuesday saying she'd taken a turn for the worse, I knew she was only a few days away from passing on.

Aunt Mi was the last of her siblings to pass on. She was preceded by Dora, Roger, and Frank Spurling. I know she's happier not suffering, and knowing her she's having a great time wherever she is. I once boldly told her when I was much younger that by the time I was 18 she'd be dead and gone (give me a break, I was 5 or so, and 18 was OLD). I'm so glad she managed to last much longer than that - she died at 86 (next month would have been her 87^th birthday).

Hermione McKay, 1918-2005 - may you be showing the afterlife some new tricks.

If you want to comment, please leave a happy story about one of your favourite relatives. Then, if they're still alive, give them a call and tell them how much you love them.