As I was wandering around the mall today, I stopped to look at $GIFT_FOR_KIRSTEN. While I was browsing, an old man sidled up to me, and in the most conspiratorial of tones, told me all about how he shovels the sidewalk every winter for his neighbour, who goes on vacation from January to April. He told me that his neighbour worked for (unintelligible), and must have invested well, because he's got a trailer "from here to there (pointing off in the distance). I don't know how he could afford it otherwise. In 40 years, I haven't gone nearly as far away as he has."

After this, he looked both ways, pulled up his sleeve and showed me the two watches he was wearing (each set to a slightly different time). He pointed to the one on the left, and said "This one was made in Japan" then wandered off into another store.