I've also neglected something else for far too long too: my life. Kirsten and I had a long talk tonight, and I told her that I really feel like I've been left behind; like I'm not where I want to be. I have many good things going for me (job, supportive and wonderful partner, overly affectionate if not crazy dog), but I'm not in the place I want to be either mentally or otherwise.

The last 2 years have been extremely rough. I went from a wonderfully creative position, working with a great group of people to absolutely nothing. I then lost two further jobs: one through a Judas/Pontius Pilate circumstance (I've documented that one well enough), and another through attrition and death (the company owed more than it could possibly take in, and then the owner died). I've felt beat down by the universe, and a year and a half ago, I think I subconsciously gave up.

Since that point, I've had no fire in my belly - and it showed to those close to me. And it's affected those close to me as well. I've been withdrawn, quiet, and antisocial. I haven't been the person everyone knew me to be. And tonight, after talking to Kirsten, I've decided enough is enough.

The first step is going to be a return to school. Not full time - I can't afford it, and we can't afford to lose the income. But I'm planning on applying for a Masters degree in Humanities Computing (to that end, I need to remember to look at this list and start talking to people). Assuming I get in, and if not at the U of A, I'll be taking either correspondence courses, doing a thesis-based MA, or taking night classes (if at the U of A).

I'll let you all know how the process goes.