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it was a fake...

<< there goes the last musician.. | Main | reminder... >>

Remember that Ossuary that was found a little while back, bearing an inscription that said the bones belonged to James, son of Joseph, brother of Jesus? it turns out it was a fake.

According to the Israel Insider, the "brother of Jesus" bit was tacked on later, by a different hand.

Posted by Darren James Harkness on Thursday, November 7, 2002 02:34 PM
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Comments:
>> Anders » Thursday, November 7, 2002 02:40 PM

Maybe the original engraver didn't know that he had a brother, and so along comes Jesus and he's like "Screw this noise, I'm putting my name on there."

>> Anders » Thursday, November 7, 2002 02:43 PM

And then the next day the people at the engraving hut "We Etch 4 U" come in to work and there's Jesus, all passed out on a haybale with a bottle of wine in one hand, a hooker draped over him, and still holding the chisel. And the owner is like "You could have asked and we would have chiseled that for you!" and Jesus throws the chisel at him and says "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I'd turned your water to whine. Go get me some aspirin or I'll pee on your rug."

>> Anders » Thursday, November 7, 2002 02:46 PM

Also, might I add, I think it's funny that there's a publication called the Israel Insider. Is that like the Bethlehem Bugle or the Nazareth News? Or more of an arty read, like The Babylonian? They always have the best cartoons.

>> Anders » Thursday, November 7, 2002 03:00 PM

So the owner is furious and Jesus is slobbering and pawing clumsily at the hooker and the cops are on the way and the assistant manager in charge of tidying up is frantically uprighting tipped over tombstones from the song of god's little rampage. And that's when a bluebird lands on the window ledge and starts to tweet a fanciful tune that makes everyone feel like dancing.

>> Anders » Thursday, November 7, 2002 03:03 PM

And so Jesus throws down a piece of cardboard on the straw-littered earthen floor, and does a very short, very agile breakdance routine, after which he wanders off mumbling something about "electric boogaloo". When the police arrive they find everything is back to normal, and then 5 billion years later, no one believes that James is Jesus's brother. And it could have all been averted with a little extra homework up front. WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED, PEOPLE?

>> Darren » Thursday, November 7, 2002 03:06 PM

Is the lesson to avoid letting Anders near caffeine sources?

>> Anders » Thursday, November 7, 2002 03:08 PM

No. It's that Jesus invented breakdancing.

>> Arcterex » Thursday, November 7, 2002 04:38 PM

Shock, shock and dismay...


Course, from a report I saw, even if the inscription was authentic, the names were so common that you couldn't say it was that Jesus, Jacob and Joseph. Oh well...

>> Kethryvis » Thursday, November 7, 2002 04:47 PM

Well, and even if it was a ossuary that belonged to THE James, who was son of Joseph, and brother to THE Jesus...that still doesn't prove that Jesus was the S.o.G.



'specially since we already know Darren is ;)

>> Anders » Friday, November 8, 2002 01:25 AM

He does sort of look like Jesus. Okay, a lot like Jesus. But also somewhat like what a sketch artist would draw if someone described a random hippy about to be pelleted with rubber bullets at a sit-in.


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